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Of course, you will never know which one is which, because they don’t the courtesy to just tell you how they feel.The alternative term for this breakdown of basic courtesy is “haunting.” Similar to breadcrumbing, benching involves stringing someone along just enough to keep you around as an option.“He’s such an You meet someone, you go on a date, you have a great time. Then, one day, you send them a text and don’t get a response. It’s bad enough that people do this after dates; what’s even more appalling is that I know people that this has happened to in relationships.You’re seeing someone for months, then, one day, they just vanish into thin air.The way that breadcrumbing is different from benching is that the former is crueler because the victim doesn’t know if you’re just being a little flaky or if you’re just not that interested.With benching, it’s more clear that the bencher is pursuing other avenues and just putting you on the bench in case one of their main players gets called off the field.It’s excruciating for the victim, and creates real trust and intimacy issues for them.It’s time to call it what it is, which is severe emotional abuse.
This, too, can lead to psychological anguish for the victim, as they wonder if it means the ghoster is regretting their decision to abandon you, or simply keeping themselves in your orbit, so that you don’t forget about them completely in the off-chance they feel like hooking up again.
Someone who will text you but fail to respond when you text back. It stands for “involuntarily celibate” and is usually used as a term of identity by people who feel entitled to sex but can’t get any.
Someone who will never make plans to see you but expect you to drop everything and come over when they happen to have an afternoon free. These people suck and, more often than not, are actually dangerous.
And for more on this insidious trend, learn the 20 Signs You’re About to Get Ghosted. The coward’s way of what is already a coward’s way out. For the breadcrumber, it’s an easy way to keep the door open in case they decide they want to pursue something down the line, or to make you so desperate you agree to a booty call.
Unlike a ghoster, who will cease all communication completely, a breadcrumber will send flirtatious but non-commital texts like “Hey, what’s up? Sometimes, the breadcrumber will disappear for weeks, only to resurface and throw another mystery crumb your way, leading you to tear your hair out, wondering whether or not they are interested after all.